I read about a new diet yesterday. It's called:
Fly It and Diet***
"This week, Continental Airlines announced its exciting new wellness program, Fly It and Diet. Nothing adds pounds faster than greasy terminal food, woofed down between tight connections. At Continental, we care about our passengers, which is why we have decided we won't feed you while you're on our planes.
That's right: no meals, no sandwiches, no salty snacks, no high-calorie cookies and no fatty nuts.
You'll be able to feel the pounds melt away while you fly.
To help you achieve your weight-loss goals, we've made our seats narrower than ever, so you can gauge your progress.
And that's not all. No food means fewer trips to the bathroom, which reduces the chance of overflowing lavatories during those long tarmac delays.
With Fly It and Diet, there's no weighing of meals, no pills, no special food -- heck, there's no food of any kind.
Lose weight while you earn frequent flier miles. Sit back, relax and allow the rumbling of your stomach to lull you to sleep.
By the time you reach Elite status, you'll be a svelte sultan of the skies!
Other airlines may take away your amenities, but only Continental cares enough to deprive you of the very best.
Continental: Work Hard, Fly Right, Eat Later."
***
Loren Steffy is the Houston Chronicle's business columnist. The Fly It and Diet was part of his commentary on Wednesday discussing Continental Airlines (now merged with United ... something Houston customers of Continental may never get over) decision to drop snacks etc from its service.
Steffy suggested that this was not going to make folks happy and suggested that Continental should come up with a good reason to drop all food (you can get food if you pay extra, along with baggage handling, fresh pillows and blankets et al) and suggested Fly It and Diet as a new marketing tool.
Too funny! I've been giggling for two days now after reading his commentary.
Thank you Mr. Steffy!
Here's to more conference calls and staycations and less airline travel.
Wishing you well.
It sounds like Air Canada - all that and surly service too. I find flying an ordeal nowadays.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! Those airlines are just so darn thoughtful!
ReplyDeleteWhile not as austere as Continental's new non-food regime, my last flight (of about 1,500 miles) offered only 1 package of peanuts and one small soft drink as the 'food' even though the flight period, with delays, covered two meal periods. I'll drive next time, and have my well-stocked cooler in the car with me -- or at least be able to stop at Cracker Barrel.
ReplyDeleteWishing you well, also.
Haha Snap. This is a good one. I plan to leave a little extra room in my carry on bag, to hide away snacks for trips. Then, when other passengers see them, maybe I can make back the cost of the airfare by selling them?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the giggles...
xoxo,
Kate
I can't see how this is going to make people want to take to the skies. Air travel seems to get worse and worse. But the article did give me a laugh.
ReplyDeleteToo funny, but not as well. Every time your turn around money is slipping from your pockets...xox Corrine
ReplyDeleteYes, another good reason not to fly if you can help it!
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing like a plate of airline food to make you WANT to go on a diet. But sometimes you need a little something. Keeps the blood sugar from dropping and tempers from flaring. Talk about economizing!
ReplyDeleteHow so very thoughtful of those JERKS!
ReplyDeleteThat is too funny So glad I switched to DELTA..lol
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